LIFE'S A BREEZE AT FAIRWINDS

We've also done the condo thing, in the islands, since we own a time-share. But who really wants to cook when on vacation? Eating out every night, however, will suck the life out of anyone's credit card. The prefect situation would be to have your own little home, with lots of bedrooms for family and/or friends (with a private staff to handle cooking and cleaning), which is located within a full-service resort. Our perfect solution was the Fairwinds Villa at Tryall Club in Jamaica. For the cost of a stay at an all-inclusive or luxury hotel, you can live however you want at one of these staffed villas, like a king… or like the villa idiot.

After my successful cannonball, my friend Mike took the plunge. It was so much fun we had to do it again. Later, Mike's girlfriend, Julia, overcame her fears and leapt into action. Karen refrained with some excuse about hating water rushing up her nose. She preferred to sit by the pool and drink her gin and tonics. To each his (or her) own, or as the Jamaicans say, "No problem mon". As sunset approached, Jean, our ever-smiling waitress, announced dinner would be ready in half an hour.

My wife is a vegetarian and I'm almost a vegetarian, but I eat fish. Our friends Mike and Julia are regular omnivores. Lorna, the chef and head of household, easily accommodated us by preparing a wonderful fish dinner with numerous fresh vegetables and a pasta dish for Karen. Every meal was served on the finest china of a different pattern and at dinner we had the most elegantly folded napkins, but the prettiest were the kimono type with blossoms tucked inside.

We each paid US$20 dollars per day towards food and Lorna created a different menu every day. One night, Julia and Mike feasted on lobster. Each morning, fresh papaya, pineapple, grapefruit, fresh squeezed orange juice, tea, Blue Mountain coffee and an exotic choice of breakfast fare greeted us. We tried ackee that looks like scrambled eggs when cooked. The fruit is a natural tofu, taking on the taste of whatever food with which it is combined. Mike and Julia sampled the traditional ackee with saltfish while Karen and I enjoyed ackee sautéed with peppers and onions.

One morning Julia requested eggs benedict. Minutes later, Jean appeared with eggs benedict. We often missed lunch when we went on outings, but sometimes we had light snacks, fruit and sandwiches if we were at the villa. It's wise to buy alcohol locally, but wine is best brought to the island as choices are limited. We stocked up on rum, gin, vodka and tequila. We survived, on daiquiris, rum punches, gin and tonics, screwdrivers and margaritas.

Fairwinds Villa is located at the Tryall Club, a resort that includes two-to-six-bedroom villas and suites at the Great House. The villa is privately owned by Eva Myers, a well-known restauranteur in Jamaica (Evita's in Ocho Rios) and we quickly discovered this was a perfect choice for our getwaway. The villa featured four large bedrooms, king-sized or smaller beds with private baths and generous closet space with dressers and a vanity. A ceiling fan and AC units kept us comfortably cool.

We took the master bedroom to enjoy the dramatic view from a large plate glass window. Mike and Julia opted for the room with the Roman bath. Beautiful artwork adorned every room. The owner's sense of humor was evident in many of the pieces, such as the paintings by satirist Jonathan Routh. Routh depicts humorous scenes of Queen Victoria engaged in various islands activities from water skiing to drinking a beer on the beach while her entourage sinks on a raft.

The main room of the villa combined a well-appointed living room and a dining area. A stereo and TV were discreetly tucked away in a large cabinet. The room opened to a huge balcony with a large wrought-iron glass table and chairs. We ate most of our meals out on the balcony. Below the balcony was the bar and grotto with a relaxation area adjacent the pool, where we spent many evenings enjoying our drinks by the pool. The only drawback to the scene was the occasional mosquito. But burning mosquito coils and a little bug repellant kept the pests away.

While the evenings were serene, our days were packed with excitement. The resort's main focus is a world famous golf course and several tennis courts, but our trip to Jamaica was mainly to SCUBA dive. Nevertheless we hopped on the villa golf cart and went exploring.

Cruising along the roads, we checked out the other villas and then followed the golf cart paths through the course. Identification signs marked unusual plants and trees. The most interesting was the cotton tree. Towering a hundred feet into the sky, thick roots erupted from the ground to support it and resembled the flying buttress supports on ancient cathedrals. We climbed up the roots and discovered a vine coming down the treetop. Our efforts at playing Tarzan were cut short, however, because the vine remained anchored to the ground. We could only swing from one side of the tree to the other. Continuing on, we passed several grass rectangles with colored balls at the corners. "Ooh, bocce ball," I exclaimed. Karen and Julia chimed in, "Yeah, let's play bocce ball". Finally Mike told us the truth - they were markers for the golf tees. The different colors were for different golfers-men, women and pros. Did I mention that I knew nothing about golf?

Further down the hillside, we arrived at the old waterwheel from original plantation on which the 2200-acre resort was built. No water flowed and the 20-foot-diameter metal wheel lay motionless. It took some effort to start it spinning. Once going, though, momentum kept it rolling. Mike and I tried to climb the spokes as it spun. This proved to be too difficult. We considered climbing inside and running within it like a hamster wheel. But the interior was too narrow. So we took turns starting and stopping it and trying to balance each other while standing on opposite sides of the wheel.

Back out on the roads, I stood hanging off the back of the cart as the others took turns driving. Holding the uprights, which support the roof of the vehicle, I stood on one foot and pushed of on the ground with the other as if I was propelling a skateboard. It was also fun to run behind the cart hanging onto the uprights, yelling "Come on guys, let me back on." We did this when passing the guard station at the Great House, but the guard didn't find it nearly as amusing as we did. He just looked at us like we were a bunch of idiots.

On one side of the Tryall Great House are the villa suites and on the other are a series of shops-a gift shop, art gallery, massage parlor, tour desk and a commissary (mini-grocery). Within the Great House we found the reception area, an Internet room with free internet service, a bar and a terrace restaurant. The terrace leads to a large swimming pool. Each afternoon between four and five o'clock it's teatime : tea, coffee, cookies and finger sandwiches are served. We only had time to avail ourselves of this snack break on one afternoon.

A gym, nursing station and tennis shop lie in buildings next to the Great House. At the base of the resort is a beach café, a pier leading out to a gazebo and a watersports desk that provides free snorkeling gear.

Of all of the accommodation we saw, including those at the Great House, we liked ours best. Not only did it seem to have the best layout, the grounds surrounding it contained the most beautiful arrangement of flora. Dwayne, the gardener, maintained both the grounds and cleaned the pool every morning. He also harvested and chopped open coconuts upon request so we could imbibe the sweet coconut water. Rounding out the staff was the other maid Winnie, who also handled any laundry we needed to be washed or ironed.

Comparing the fee to that of an all-inclusive resort, I was amazed to find out how much less expensive a staffed villa costs. One week at Hedonism II during the off-season (April 1-December 20) costs over US$1,800 per person for a garden view room (more for ocean view) based on double occupancy. A superior-grade villa at Tryall, such as Fairwinds, runs at US$4500 per week. Divided by eight and that's $562.50 per person. Food is another $20 per person per night and tips are $10 per person per night. Add it all up and it totals $772.50 per person for a week at the villa. Liquor is only a few dollars more. Even with the added charge of a couple of hundred dollars for SCUBA diving or golf, the total price is still only half that of the all-inclusive. For high season, Hedonism II charges $2345 per person for a garden view room (again, this is just a room and it doesn't even have a view of the ocean!). A week at Fairwinds is US$8,250 from January 30-March 6 or $1031.25 per person. With food and tips, still only $1241.25.

These prices are well within the budget of anyone seeking a true taste of luxury. Vacationing at a staffed villa is an experience that everyone needs to try at least once. And not just because of the comfort, convenience and lavish setting. By the end of our six days there, it really felt like Fairwinds was our home. We enjoyed the company of the staff and they in turn cared for us. Every time we left to go on one of our daily adventures, Lorna was generally concerned for our well-being and safety. But all good things come to an end.

Wishing that we could stay a few more days, we climbed aboard the shuttle to depart on that final morning. I looked again at the beautiful home, the gardens and the spectacular mountains of Jamaica that flow down to the sea. As we said our goodbyes one last time, I got all choked up and had to bite my tongue to keep from crying…. I'm such sentimental guy, a villa idiot (and I really hope my editor leaves this in!)